That One Simple Regret
by edelsage
Summary: "Nevermind." It was always Reyna's saying when she couldn't tell the three little words she always wanted to tell him. Little did she know, she might regret not telling him when one day he disappeared from her life.Oneshot.


**Disclaimer: Me no own Percy Jackson or any of Rick Riordan's characters. Wishing though.**

**I was inspired by the song Nevermind by Taylor Swift, and I thought this would fit her situation perfectly, seeing as she didn't tell him what she has on mind before he disappeared. Enjoy!**

_**That One Simple Regret**_

Reyna is a warrior. A hardened veteran who escaped her home after it was taken over by pirates, when she faced the monsters residing Mount Tam and won. She's a fearless leader, putting duty and responsibility as a Praetor above everything else, even her own self. People always have respect and even fear for her, some called her cold and calculating, but she didn't care about anyone's opinions as long as she gets to protect the camp.

There's one little problem though, in the form of _Jason Grace_.

He's her partner-in-leadership, and she admits, he's a good leader. When they first met, she thought he was too soft, too gentle to even succeed in this world, so at the beginning she held contempt and disdain when it comes to him. Even being the son of Jupiter, he doesn't even crave leadership like Octavian who's power-hungry. She takes every chance she could to remind him on how the world works, that being feared was better than being looked down upon. He would get annoyed and say that it's not worth it, or he'd accused her of being heartless. For them, arguments were the only times they actually say to each other. But things changed fast.

She saw his bravery, his good heart and his determination to protect the people he cares about. She came to respect him, little by little, and his leadership skills seemed to sometimes rub off her. It was a weird thing for Reyna, yet she found him a hero like no other. It was astounding how her opinions changed so quickly.

After the war, and his ascension as Praetor, everything spiralled out of control.

They became friends shortly, her partner in making decisions, even the activities the campers will partake in, he was her co-captain. Every duty was shared, many secrets are exposed between them, and they were closer than before. Jason became her closest friend, and it seemed too impossible after a few years of bickering and arguing.

Then there was his laugh that seemed to echo in her mind.

His smile that seemed to burn itself permanently in her memory.

And his touch that seemed to launch a thousand sparks in her and sends her heart racing.

It was magical, which seemed too cliché, but that was how she always felt every time he was with her. She would feel that irritation washing through her when she sees girls flirting with him, but she would always put her cold, indifferent mask to hide such feelings.

_And everytime look at you I can hardly say a thing_

_My head starts to spin_

His eyes were so blue like they were peering through her soul, and scanning it repeatedly. Inside, she was nervous, but on the outside she would only keep on the façade of being the duty-bound Praetor who would have nothing but her responsibilities in her mind.

_And it hits me then_

_I love you_

That was the absolute truth. She should've figured it out a long time ago. She was in love with him.

Even then, she couldn't tell those three simple words.

It felt like something was stuck in her throat, and she couldn't force it out. Every time they were alone, she would always make a little attempt, but would dismiss it while barely saying a word. Was she too much of a coward? Her, daughter of Bellona, the war goddess? She shouldn't have time for that anyway. She has to keep up with the needs of Camp Jupiter and its campers. A little pathetic feeling shouldn't affect her.

_And all I really wanna do is be next to you_

_But I'm too tired to fight_

She really wanted to be next to him, telling some sort of story, laughing with him, but she can't. A Praetor puts her position before herself. She was tired of trying, when she knows the outcome might not even be good in the first place.

_And I could tell you now_

_But baby never mind_

"Never mind." That was what she always says when she couldn't muster the courage to tell him the three words. His eyebrows would furrow together, but he would shrug and return to his duties. It was rather annoying that she always acted like an idiot when she's around him.

_All I really wanna say is I need you, babe_

_But how could you understand_

He wouldn't see how much she wants to be with him, but how could he? She's only a friend. A calculating, no-nonsense friend. He would think love was non-existent for her. Too strict, too rigid, not enough heart.

There was one time, in December, that as Praetors they were having their own little meeting. Alone. She was aware of his tanned face turned away from her as he looked over the files he was sorting. She took out the gift she was going to give to him, and then looked at his direction. He was still focused on the folders and papers. She loved this part of him, so serious and duty-driven like her. Like there was no time to waste.

She cleared her throat and threw the gift box to him. He catches it by reflex, surprised at her outburst.

"A gift for your hard work, Grace," she coolly said. His face then changed to those of understanding and smiled, while she silently fought to keep the blush emerging from her face.

"Well, never expected this from you," he said, the grin still plastered on his face. He then took a silver box wrapped in a ribbon and threw it to her. She stared at it and raised a questioning eyebrow at him. He only laughed.

"It's not a trap Reyna," he said. "I was planning to give a gift to you too." She cracked a smile, grateful, and he smiled back. She then realized it might be a good time to tell him. They're alone. Nobody will know but him. It was now or never, and she might regret it that she miss this chance.

"Listen, Jason…"she started.

_What happens if you turn away_

_And everything turns blue and gray_

But what if after this they wouldn't be the same again? Would it be awkward and they will never speak to each other like usual? And he rejected her, because she was not someone to like, let alone love. This fear ran through her.

_And I just wish I told you never mind._

She hesitated. But like many times, the words wouldn't come out, and Jason looked at her, waiting.

No.

Not yet. Not the time.

She shook her and said, "Never mind." He shrugged. "It's nothing."

_I could tell you now but never mind._

They bid each other goodnight after that, with Reyna promising she will tell him, sometime. She just need courage, and the right time.

But that time never came, because the next day Jason Grace disappeared.

And she realized she won't ever get the chance again.


End file.
